Traveling through life in the fat lane

I've struggled with writing today's column for several months.

Do I share this story with a sense of humor, even though for some the subject matter might not seem very funny? Conversely, if I focus only on the serious or dramatic will the readers get lost in the painful emotions instead of enjoying the journey?

Well, I've decided to write it as I've lived it; a mixture of both as there certainly have been some incredibly funny moments while others have rocked the very fiber of my being and quite honestly, traveling down those roads again is not an experience that I necessarily cherish.

However, as many of us know, in life we don't always get to choose the road we are destined to travel or whether the experience will bring laughter or tears. More importantly though, we do get to choose if the moment destroyed the journey or made it a trip to remember.

With that said, I wish to acknowledge that I'm thankful for my moments as the trip has been one to remember. But not for the reason that you might think.

Most people would've finished that statement with:"for it has made me the person I am today." Seriously? How do we know that? Is there a way to compare? Is there a Staples Easy-Life Button somewhere that I didn't know about? I for one would like to live a stress-free life that was completely filled with joy and happiness first before I make that statement.

So while my journey may or may not have made me the person I am today, it has most definitely made me thankful, for it was anything but dull and boring. So when, and hopefully not if, I get to stand before God I can honestly say, "Thank you God, that was one wild ride on the roller coaster of life!"

Hmmm, wait a minute. Since I'm already talking to Him that seems redundant. Perhaps it would be better to say "Thank yourself"? No that seems a bit awkward. Just plain "Thanks" or 'Thank you" seems insincere. How much time will I have for this conversation? I need to know these things before I get there. What if we're not allowed to talk to God when we get to Heaven? I wonder if He has a cell phone with unlimited texting? I'll ask my family to quickly send this message, OMG TY!, before I get there.

But that's getting ahead of the story.

Some of you may have noticed that I'm not writing as many stories as I used to these past couple of weeks. Well, rest assured it's not because I'm at a loss for words. That would be a cold day in Hell. Wait another minute... How does someone know when the weather is going to change in Hell? Do they have meteorologists? If so, how does one go to school to learn about the weather in Hell?

I bet the forecast would go something like this: "The weekend shows a cooling trend as we'll be lucky to reach 225 degrees on Saturday which as you old-timers know, is unseasonably cold for this time of year," they'd probably say. "But Sunday you'll need a jacket as it's going to drop down to a chilly 175 degrees." If Earth has "Global Warming" does Hell have "Pital Cooling"?

Okay Ginger, refocus as that's another story for another time.

So if I haven't been writing and there's nothing to do in the garden, what have I been doing to keep out of trouble? I'm in the Bariatric program with the Reliant Medical Group.

Since the word "Bariatric" may not be familiar to everyone, let me explain. Bariatrics is the branch of medicine that deals with the causes, prevention, and treatment of obesity. The term bariatrics was created around 1965. The field encompasses dieting, exercise and behavioral therapy approaches to weight loss, as well as pharmacotherapy and surgery.

That brings us back to why I haven't been writing. Since October, I've been actively involved in the pre-surgical program. With each step, the requirements and expectations become more time consuming and often enlightening.

So what does this have to do with the rest of the population? With increasing prevalence in both adults and children, obesity is the leading preventable cause of death worldwide and one of the most serious public health problems of the 21st century. Therefore, my editor, Barbara Van Reed, and the collective membership of my weight loss group have asked me to share this journey. Not only to help others to learn more about the program but also about how a person can reach this crossroads and possibly avoid the trip.

During the next several months I plan to document this process here within my column. However, since this is an election year there may be an occasional thought that must take priority over my fat journey. So please don't think I've taken a detour, it's just that right now it's difficult to stay quiet when there's such a target rich political environment.

So let's start with this thought... Obesity is stigmatized in much of the modern world (particularly in the Western world), though it was widely perceived as a symbol of wealth and fertility at other times in history, and still is in some parts of the world. Therefore, I'm either living in the wrong country or time since I honestly can't remember a single event in my life that wasn't overshadowed by my weight. I can even go one step further and say that I'm 61 years-old and have been on a diet for 60 of those years.

Let the journey begin...